Leg: thigh gnarly; better.
So I have this grouchiness born of happiness.
In that video you definitely see the grouchiness. It's pretty straightforward. I'm grouchy because we did an exercise tonight that made me grouchy: if you've been watching the training videos (no problemo if not) you'll have noticed that a lot of what we're working is movement and evasion; stick 'n move stick 'n move. And we worked that some tonight, with me going a few rounds against Nick, and there's just such a clear "skill discrepancy" (Coach's term) there that it can get frustrating. In descending amount of frustration generated:
- it's frustrating to make the same mistake over and over again (flap your hands as a second hit lands; rear back your chin instead of hunker and roll) especially when each time you realize a LITTLE bit sooner that you've made the mistake, but not soon enough
- it's frustrating to be on the losing end of a sparring game, over and over;
- the fact that each "frustrating" thing equates with getting hit, in a way that does sometimes hurt, adds to the frustration for sure.
So I punched a wall at one point (gloved hand; not that hard; I'm not some aggro moron); I yelled; I got mad. It was a frustrating night.
BUT, and maybe you also see this in the video I don't know, I don't really mean the smile, the smile is just me seeing myself and how silly/grim I look... anyway buuut there's also a happiness in this, that I'm feeling now. Because I'm so spent, and trained very hard (I was tired going into tonight; [insert complaints about calorie deficit for hundredth time here]), and didn't get more hurt--there's a knot in my thigh but 'yknow.
It's a good feeling, to be deep in a thing that you chose to be in, that has a definite end, and that's exciting. Even when part of that good feeling is being SO MAD and SO FRUSTRATED.
That's it I think. Eyes tired. Bed.
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